July 2013, I had just made the biggest decision of the century for myself, I decided to leave a 19 year marriage. The depression, the conflict, the lack of intimacy, and lack of connection was too much to keep fooling myself that I had feelings for her anymore.
Fast-forward past the frustration and uncertainty of the actual divorce process, because who wants to re-live that? I found myself in a two bedroom condo over the 12 day span between when my son would come for his time with me, with little to do except watch TV, play Xbox, or eat.
So many men find themselves in similar situations, the durations of the marriage, the ages of the kids, and the reasons for the marriage to fail all vary but one thing remains the same...that feeling of going from being part of a family to being ALONE...
For a man, success is extremely important. Mastery of a skill or a craft and being the best in the world at it. Mastery is necessary to win the race! When we fail at marriage, we feel judged, wronged, out of control and lacking purpose. The life we worked hard to build is erased in the bang of a judges gavel. It's a critical wound our ego takes and we withdraw into our heads so we don't have to feel in our hearts.
Thankfully social media has made connecting with resources and people so much easier. I found an advertisement for men's coaching online and it hit me on the right day at the right time. The divorce was done, I had hit a ceiling at my job and moved to another company, and was seeing my kids as much as I possibly could to repair the damage from their mother telling them how bad of a person I was. I was at my rock bottom!
I spent 6 months working with my coach, we covered everything from growth mindset, to limiting beliefs, and tactical steps that I could use to get out of my funk. I went on after that to work with a coach who helped me to identify the trauma that occurred in my life when I was 3 that caused me to spend the next 45 or so years feeling unlovable. I owe my current state of life to that one moment that I saw that ad for coaching.
My current state is OUTSTANDING!! Three years ago I started my own coaching business and I am enjoying living into my purpose to express love and wellness within myself and to others with enthusiasm! I started out with and still practice as a health coach, my most recent client lost 12 pounds in 12 weeks and learned so much about herself in the process. I'm very proud of her accomplishments.
From the health side I transitioned to life coaching and developed my own signature program for Mindset Renovation. I used MR to help several people overcome limiting beliefs and get out of their own way but it wasn't quite yet how I wanted to be serving. So I started at that point to really focus on men and the issues that I had overcome in my journey from divorce to remarriage and all the trials that brings.
As of 2021, I'm focused on helping men heal from divorce. I have been learning how to apply the tools and modalities from my coaching certifications to reveal to men tactics, mindset shifts, and other exercises to get them through the traumas of divorce. Similarly to what I experienced 8 years ago when I went thorough it I'm finding the biggest challenge men face is that they are facing it alone. I don't want any man to feel as if he's battling the whole world like I did; it was close to paralyzing and something no human person should have to experience.
I offer free initial consultations where we can unpack the situation you're facing, put together a plan and get you moving in your desired direction as quickly as possible. I have created a custom program that focuses on personal integrity, finding purpose, self-sabotage, and standards for living among other topics based on individual need of the client.
To schedule your free initial consultation click HERE!
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