Last week in our MBBM circle we started to ask the question of the men during introductions; What is your life's purpose? We started doing this because I realized a couple weeks ago that we were doing an injustice to the men by not pushing them more in this direction to determine what theirs is. Not because it's wrong, or to shame or guilt them for not knowing, in fact quite the opposite! The intent would be to reinforce it within them, make it known to everyone, and support them on their journey to live it!!
Purpose is an elusive thing because it changes with the seasons of life. In our youth, our purpose is to learn and have fun; in our teens, to learn who we are and where we fit in; our 20's to continue to find our place and make mistakes that teach us that we're on the right path or not: our 30s & 40s, for most to have and raise a family; but then our 50's and beyond get a bit harder to nail down. It could be to teach, mentor, serve or any combination thereof, or to live free, see the world, acquire toys and shiny things, or it could be to build a legacy that you'll be remembered by. Not this is definitely not a be all list, far from it, these are just what came to mind for ME as I wrote this and is colored by my experiences in life.
Yours will be different and unique for you and that's perfect. The question that many men have, though in their 30's thru 60's is what is that supposed to be??? What is my purpose for being here if I don't have a family or when my family is grown? Or maybe they feel rudderless, overwhelmed or stagnant and are looking for a way to shake those negative thoughts and feelings.
Knowing your purpose gives you an identity that not only inspires your behaviors every day but also allows you to have more positive feelings like success, joy, and peace.
I've used a few methods to help people find what this is for them. The best way for those who are believers in Christ is the Life Journey Advance course offered at my church. My wife and I are facilitators and it's an incredibly powerful course that identifies your strengths, gifts, and personality to then help you envision and create a calling statement.
The 2nd best tool I've used is a list of questions I use with people to determine their purpose statement. It starts with a draft of your initial thought then through a series of questions helps you work to refine that statement to a powerful purpose. This is the method I used personally about 6 years ago to create mine that I still use today: To express and Inspire love and wellness within myself and to others with enthusiasm!
The third and most basic is to answer the following list of questions for yourself then write a purpose statement.
If you had five billion dollars and you had every toy you could possibly imagine, what would your purpose be?
When I was a child what did I want to be when I grew up?
What makes you come alive?
Reflect on all of the above and write your purpose statement.
In the coming weeks, the MBBM meeting will be focused on getting the men clarity of purpose because in my opinion you are wasting your life by not knowing what direction you are meant to be going every day. Think about it, you have a direction you are meant to be on and let's say is Los Angeles, and you're currently in New York City. However, your leaving New York but your a few degrees off in your direction because you have not done the work to confirm it? You keep going, learning and growing making your way across the US but all that time you're direction isn't true toward LA and after all that work you end up in San Francisco??
Now, I don't guarantee these tools will get you to LA but they'll get you a lot closer than just shooting in the dark.
To gain more clarity on your purpose through Men Becoming Better Men click HERE!!
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